Today I baked my phone.

I was cleaning the oven and using the phone as a flashlight. I put it in the top of the oven with the flashlight pointing down so I didn't have to hold the light (the oven doesn't have any light of its own).

Then I left it there, and turned on the oven to heat up some lasagna.

I noticed a weird smell but guessed it was the soap from cleaning the oven.

My grandma wanted frozen strawberries. The small bag was too small and the big bag was too big. So she didn’t get any

The secret to waking up early and not spending all morning in bed is having a really uncomfortable bed.

Professor I’m sorry I didn’t do my work. My fiancé said we had to make pumpkin pie but they didn’t have pumpkin purée at any of the grocery stores nearby so we had to ride the bus for almost an hour to get to the big supermarket where we thought they might have it and then by the time we got back home there wasn’t any time to do homework and still have the pumpkin pie ready on time before we had to start the movie so we could finish the movie before we went to bed.

The way to true power: find the part of the current universe closest to the initial state of the universe in causal complexity, and control it for purposes of exerting influence over the Solomonoff prior.

An idea for a good way to die:

0. Live in a cabin on an island in the middle of a lake
1. Be rather old and feel ready to die
2. Have a party on the lakeshore with your friends and family
3. Tell them you're very old and going to die soon and say goodbye
4. Get in your canoe and start paddling home
5. When you're partway there, lie down and die (heart stops, voluntary if possible, taking a pill is ok too)
6. A timed device sets the canoe on fire and lights secretly stored fuel in the boat
7. here is enough to cremate your body while your family watches from the shore
8. The canoe has a shell which won't burn so you don't sink
9. Your family gets a timed message using whatever technological means are most appropriate assuring them that this wasn't an accident
10. They can go get the ashes if they want

I love when two different spellings of the same word evolve to have slightly different meanings by association with where the spellings came from.

Read this thing I wrote

Basically, If the following inequality is true, you should definitely vote:

K < 10 * S * V * (2c-1) * U/N

Otherwise, it might not be worth your time.

Variables:

Value of election outcome: V

Population of your state: N

Chance that your state is the tipping-point state: S

Confidence that you are making the right vote: c

Probability of an upset in your state: U

Cost of you voting: K

'We value your privacy' ... so we want you to pay for it

The revolution will not fight germs that may cause bad breath

I’m beginning to think that airports are designed to torture travellers. Bright white lights and crappy food which empties your wallet, stadium-style constant advertisements, and a serious lack of comfortable seating really is not what I need when I’m delayed for a full day after getting off an overnight flight.

The best potluck dish ever is a jar of miso that's half empty and looks like it's been in your fridge for three months.

I have a brilliant new merch store. In order to make everything as affordable as possible, I have reduced all of the items to their minimum prices, so if you buy something I won't make a penny. I will, however, be very amused.

My branded merch

In the Seattle airport for a four hour layover. Here's a photo of Mt. Baker from the flight over.

I'm back on fedi after a long hiatus due to issues with hosting resources. Looking forward to reconnecting! Loving microblog.pub as always.